Okay, so a friend or family member has asked you to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. First of all, congratulations because it’s quite an honor! Sure, weddings happen all the time but it’s a once-in-a-lifetime event for the newlyweds and the fact that the bride chose you to be a part of the wedding party is a pretty big deal.
It means she considers you to be one of her closest allies, but as longtime NY & NJ wedding videographers, we can tell you that it also means that certain things will be expected of you. So, read on to learn a few tips for ensuring that you don’t make the bride end up regretting her decision.
Think teamwork first, then contribute.
The best wedding parties are the ones that function like a newlywed support group, there to help the couple plan and prepare for their big day, as well as to provide an ear to listen to and shoulder to cry on should the need arise. That’s why it’s so important to always be a team player, first and foremost.
It’s not that you shouldn’t make any and all the personal contributions you can, whether it’s in the form of some time out of your day to run errands, a little advice, etc. However, you always need to remember that it’s not your wedding, which means that you shouldn’t always expect your suggestions or ideas to actually be applied.
Share them, sure. Just try to be communicative, cooperative and helpful with other’s ideas too and, worse comes to worst, try to keep any disagreements as far away from the bride-to-be as possible. Wedding planning is stressful enough and the last thing you want to do is add more stress to the mix. That negates the whole point of being a bridesmaid.
Be generous yet realistic with time.
Perhaps the most important part of being a bridesmaid is giving your time to the bride-to-be. Like mentioned above, planning a wedding is never easy and there will always be something you could probably help with, whether it’s accompanying her to check out a potential venue or vendor, going to the gym with her, or just being there to vent to.
However, you don’t want to promise too much and then ultimately let the bride-to-be down either, which is why you should try to be as realistic about your available time from the start, both with the bride and yourself. Sit down and really think about the time you’ll be able to commit to being a bridesmaid, not just the overall amount but the specific times, too.
Then, let the bride-to-be know so she can factor it into her plans and if you find yourself feeling badly about it, just try to think quality, not quantity. What does that mean? It means you should focus on being truly present and supportive for the bride when you are with her so that the time you can and do spend being a bridesmaid is as valuable as it should be.
Help her take a breather.
One of the best ways for newlyweds-to-be to keep the inherent planning stress at bay is to designate some regular non-wedding time. It doesn’t really matter if they spend that time watching a movie, out to dinner, or just talking about anything unrelated to the wedding. Sometimes, they’ll just need a break.
So, while a lot of the “who does what” should usually be left to a team discussion with all the bridesmaids, one way that you can always help on your own is to create some breaks for the bride-to-be. That is, when possible and reasonable of course, because there will certainly be times when her time would be better spent checking another planning item off the list.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t plan some fun breaks for her nor that you shouldn’t reach out during times when she hasn’t necessarily asked for your help yet you find you’ve got some free time on your hands. If she’s not swamped with planning duties, then she may very well appreciate the chance to step away with a close ally for a bit.
In the end, have fun!
The bottom line is, while there are plenty of ways to go above and beyond as a bridesmaid and more than few examples of it, in the end, being a good bridesmaid is all about being there for the bride-to-be in a time of need, however she needs. That’s it, which is why once the big day arrives, it’s key to enjoy the moment and have fun, because that’s exactly what she needs to be doing!
About Us: Live Picture Studios is composed of a team of highly skilled NY & NJ wedding videographers and photographers who’ve been creating stunning wedding photos and videos for years. At LPS, we always create to inspire and you can check out our photo gallery and video gallery to see some examples.