We recently posted a blog about what being a maid of honor truly entails and how you can go above and beyond when a bride gives you that honor. Check it out: How to Master the Maid of Honor Position.
Today, though, we’re talking about the other side of the wedding party, and what it means to be named a groom’s best man.
Let’s face it, at least in our time making wedding videos in the NY / NJ videography industry, groomsmen often take the whole wedding process lightly and just use it as an excuse to have fun, but the best man is not just another groomsmen.
Just as the maid of honor traditionally has a list of specific responsibilities, so does the best man, and just as you can go above and beyond as a maid of honor, you can also take your best man duties to another level.
So, let’s take a look at what’s expected of the best man, traditionally, and how you can exceed those expectations to be the best best man around.
The best man must be the leader of the groomsmen pack.
First off, the best man should absolutely attend pre-wedding events like the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner to hash out details like how everyone will be walking down the aisle, and also may need to give a rehearsal dinner speech as well.
From there, just as the maid of honor is the leader of the bridesmaids pack, the same goes for the best man and the groomsmen.
As the best man, it’s your job to keep track of where the other groomsmen are at in their wedding prep and to ensure they’re taking care of everything that needs to be taken care of.
In addition to helping the groom choose his attire, you may need to organize the groomsmen’s fittings, if necessary, and if some of them live far away and will only be coming on the wedding day, then you may have to handle their wardrobe needs.
Also, sometimes the wedding party consists of a group of strangers or the groomsmen haven’t seen each other in a while, so you may want to throw a pre-wedding get together or start an email chain or social media discussion to get everyone mingling and to keep all the pre-wedding planning and prep on track.
As longtime NJ / NY videography vets, trust us, getting everyone on the same page will only make your and the groom’s lives easier.
Make sure the bachelor party’s one to remember.
Then, of course, there’s the bachelor party and, first off, don’t worry so much about money. These days, many groomsmen pool money together collectively for the party and for a groomsmen gift as well.
However, even if that’s the case, it’s still usually on the best man to handle all the details and make all the necessary arrangements as far as transportation, lodging, activities, etc.
You may want to sit down and talk with the groom about how he’s always pictured his bachelor party before planning it and it’s important to factor in everyone’s schedule. You need to find the right time, when everyone who the groom wants there is available.
Just be mindful of everyone’s budget when planning the bachelor party before getting in over your head.
The bottom line is, the bachelor party is one of the few chances you get as a best man to make your mark on the wedding.
The best man is the right-hand man at the ceremony.
On the actual wedding day, the best man should help the groom with prep and then do a last minute check before the ceremony to make sure all the groomsmen’s attire and accessories are in place.
We’ve been in NY / NJ videography for a long time, and it’s the little details like these that can be the perfect complement to the wedding video when they’re right or an unnecessary distraction when they’re off. Check out our video gallery to get a feel for how important details like these are.
From there, the best man usually stands up at the altar by the groom at the ceremony and keeps the ring in a safe place so that when it’s needed, it’s ready and easily accessible.
Also, just like the maid of honor, the best man usually signs the marriage license as a witness, and may need to give the wedding officiant his/her fee after the ceremony so the groom doesn’t have to.
As the best man, you may also need to drive the newlyweds from the ceremony to the reception, if need be.
At the reception, it’s all about how you host and toast.
At the reception, the best man must help in a hosting capacity and typically dances with the maid of honor and, perhaps, the bride during the wedding party dances. Also, you may need to collect gift envelopes and keep them safe for the newlyweds.
Then comes the toast. You may need to organize the order of toasts too and remember, like the bachelor party, the toast is one the few chances the best man gets to add his own special moment to the wedding.
The most important thing to remember is, it’s a toast, not a roast. So, while sprinkling in some good-natured humor is fine and can actually be the most memorable part of your speech, it’s always a good idea to swing back around to the more heartfelt stuff at some point.
Think about your past together, the memories you share that led to you being chosen as the best man, and let everyone know how happy you are for him to have found love. We’ve seen a lot of best man speeches making wedding videos in NJ / NY videography, and you can’t go wrong being genuine and passionate.
On top of all that, the best man is usually in charge of taking care of the transportation for the newlyweds at the end of the festivities, whether it’s to the hotel or the airport for the honeymoon, and decorating the getaway vehicle, if need be.
How to take it up a notch…
You’re not just the groom’s best man, you’re his wing man.
Just as the maid of honor isn’t typically chosen solely for her time management and organizational skills, the best man is also usually expected to help in terms of emotional support and stress relief as much as wedding planning logistics.
So, you need to help relieve stress when the groom starts feeling overwhelmed or anxious, and you need to make him laugh when things need a little lightening up.
It’s also important to remember that just as the bride often gets carried away with guests and the celebration, the groom may get caught up in everything and forget to eat as well.
So, you can be a better best man by making sure the groom gets a chance to try all the food and stays well fed.
Also, a wedding day emergency kit could be a lifesaver for the groom and if it doesn’t end up being needed, it’ll still serve to reduce his anxiety over something going wrong.
For more information on the kinds of items you’d want to include in such a kit, check out our post: How to Prepare the Perfect Emergency Kit For Your Wedding Day.
Lastly, as the best man, you may need to organize the returns of rental tuxedoes if need be after all’s said and done.
The bottom line is, there’s more to being the best man than planning a wild bachelor party and making a funny speech at the reception, and to be remembered as one of the best best men ever, you’ll need to go above and beyond the traditional expectations.
About Us: Live Picture Studios has been in the NY / NJ videography industry for years, specializing in creating wedding videos in NJ and NY as well as CT and PA. At Live Picture Studios, we make memories magical through our unmatched cinematic storytelling abilities. Visit www.livepicturestudios.com to learn more.